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9 o'clock and sex education :: 25th May 2004

I have been around him all this while…all the while I haven't noticed how afraid he always is of making mistakes. I know, throw the rotten tomatoes this way. I have been completely blind. I am talking about my dearest and most beloved first-born child, Joshua. It was only tonight that I noticed it. He was nicely playing his computer game on the PC.

He didn't know how to play a certain game because it was a little tougher than his usual "Match-A-to-A" games. This time, he had to fully utilize his brains to actually figure out some stuff. In short, let me explain the game to you.

The player is supposed to bring presents or foods to some animals located either on land, next to the railway station, at home, in the mountains or on an island. There are some means of transportation for the user to choose from…i.e. train, car, helicopter, boat…etc. You may have to switch from one mobile means to another to bring the carrot to the rabbit.

Joshua was playing this game for a while and I guess while teaching him, I was stressing him out with my "the rabbit is in the mountain, you HAVE TO use the HELICOPTER. See? See, this is a helicopter" like he didn't know what it was. I guess it was my tone of voice that made him so fearful to make a mistake. WHAT??? I am only human too. Ok, fine. So, I made a mistake.

He was trying to carry the 'nut' to the 'elephant in the island but the 'nut' went rolling round and round in the train and Joshua didn't know how to get the 'nut' out of the train and into the boat. He started wailing and I quickly rushed out of the toilet to see what monster had caused my baby to cry. He came running into my arms and wailed "Mommy, the nut is stuck!". "What? Why is it stuck? Did the computer hang on you?". "No, mommy, I think the elephant cannot get the nut anymore!".

That poor soul. I decided to divert his attention to an easier part of the game and he was convinced that the poor elephant would never ever get the nut. So, we had to go back to the train-thing and bring the elephant the nut before he gave me a bear-hug and said 'thank you, mom'. He's such a weepy little boy, ain't he? I can't imagine what he would be like with his future girlfriend. Hhhhmmm….

It seems that I may no longer have the privilege of enjoying a nice bath or shower with Joshua anymore. He started noticing 'differences' between me and him…yes, sexually…as in when we're naked. He asked me questions that would have made a whore blush….and it made me roll over in laughter so bad that he looked on in complete puzzlement.

"Come on, let's go take a shower already. It's freezing cause we're naked here"
Joshua stares on, making me a wee bit uncomfortable because I see those questions in his eyes.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Mom, you lost your penis (he didn't use such a technically correct word but it meant penis)", he said sadly.

Mommy falls to the ground and roll around in complete unabashed nakedness and laughed till she weeps. I told this to my husband and he only muttered 'uhm' hiding a bemused smile and delight that he wasn't there to actually deal with this issue. I don't think it's really an issue, is it? But you know what? For all the articles that I have written on parenting, I realize that it's easier to talk and write about it than to do it…duh, like I am surprised…..

Joshua thinks 9 o'clock is the best thing to happen to him in this lifetime, truly if God gave him nothing in this lifetime, God gave him 9 o'clock because at 9 o'clock, he gets to play the computer or play whatever computer/internet games he wants on my computer. Unlike his privileged cousins who each gets 1 computer for 1 person (their ages are 5 and 2), he only gets to touch the computer and play his games after 9pm.

Apart from the fact that I have to work before 9 and after 12, he is also being taught a certain lesson…there's life beyond TV and computers!! Gee, kids these days are completely clueless about ways of how to entertain themselves. When I was a kid, I used to feed tadpoles in the puddles in the 'padang' (playground) during my free time. Yeah, sure, my mom found out about the missing pieces of bread but hey, I think it did me a whole lot of good…as compared to computer games and TV, right?

The programs they watch today is ridiculous too….they have all kinds of programs to watch…especially designed for kids. When I was younger, I didn't get to go out anywhere unless it was a special SPECIAL occasion. Josh and the rest of his gang (Jared included) gets to watch Barney, Hi-5, Teletubbies…etc…there are lots more.

Let's take a good look at my toddler, Jared. He's kind of aloof about the rest of the world unless someone actually pokes him in the eye or stomp on his foot. The rest of the time, his eyes are fixed on the computer. He's always watching TV.

The moment he his eyes from a nap, he says, "I wan watch Pingu" (Pingu is a really retarded penguin who has an attitude problem and weird friends…and can't talk for nuts). Halfway through his meal, he'll say "I wan watch Feh-Fat" (to the rest of the world, that means Hi-5)

Then before his nap, he says he wants to watch "Barney" and then after his nap, he says he wants to watch "Huckle". Gee, what else does this kid thinks about? At this rate, by the time he hits 3, he'd be wearing glasses as thick as mine. Thankfully, he's not yet developed as keen interest in computers as his elder brother has.

But the question is not 'if'…the question is 'when'.

:: Marsha ::