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Love :: 15th June 2004

"Don't sit next to Joshua. You'll fall in love with him" That, my dear friends, came out from a babe at the ripe old age of 7! *Elaine was giving this love-warning to *Ina…all of 5 years old! Really, kids these days! They have such an innocent perception of 'love'.

You see, Elaine, at this age, if pretty fascinated with the 'love factor'. Whenever she says something about being married, weddings, wedding gowns, princesses, love, kiss…etc, she would rattle on and on about what she has watched on cable TV.

This got me thinking….was I so fascinated about 'love' when I was that age. Clearly, I was. I started reading "Mills and Boons" at the age of 8 or so. I had also started drawing pictures of princesses, princes on horses and castles from - gee, I have no idea when it all started but I have a pretty good idea that it must have been quite early.

I don't think Joshua knows what love is - well, the only kind of love he knows is the kind of love that I show him.

Because of her rapture with the topic of love, we asked Elaine what she really though what love meant. And she said this, "Love means when you kiss someone and the you get married. And then you have kids: that's love". Gee, I wish, I REALLY do wish it was that simple.

And since I got the 7-year-old-deifnition-of-love from Elaine, I might as well ask Joshua as well.

'Josh, what is love?"
blank stare.
"Josh. Can you tell me what love is?"
"I love you, mom."
"No, Josh. Do you know what love is?"
"L-O-V-E. Love"

Sigh…that was the best answer I could get out of that kid before he went on pretending he was a 'long-neck'….a dinosaur. We call it the 'brontosaurus' but Joshua calls it 'long neck' because of the show 'Land Before Time".

It's also quite weird that Joshua is automatically designated to be a monster, dinosaur, wierdo, chaser instead of the 'chased' or 'victim'. Even when there are strangers involved! It's really weird cause Joshua automatically knows how to growl and scowl and chase after everyone who is squealing, even if they are perfect strangers. Infact, he would act like a monster even in the house when there's no one tochase. It's almost like his designated role or something. Weird.

Daddy asked me one day, "Have you noticed that Joshua is always a monster?" and I sniggered.

"Boy, have I ever! Your boy has never been a victim in his entire life! He's spent his lifetime being a scary character, you know and he doesn't know how to let others become the monster while he squeals away in mock fright." Except when mommy takes on the role of the monster. Sometimes, I pity the guy because let's face it, being a monster is really quite hard work. So, I jump in and pretend to be scarier than he is and the rest of the kids just scurry off in a hurry and even beckon for Joshua to join them as they run for cover under the blanket.

Jared sometimes joins us too, but he's most comfortable playing all by himself, most times. I tell you, this guys has character and he really knows how to hold his own against other people. As I think about their future, I don't worry too much about Jared but I worry about Joshua instead. They're so completely opposite that I don't know how they could have the same genes at all!

Joshua likes to be scratched on the back, Jared likes the front. Joshua likes to whine and make a whole lot of fuss until someone comes to his rescue (normally me or kakak) while Jared takes matters into his own hands. Joshua likes to have the blanket pulled up right to his eyebrows, Jared kicks the covers off the moment I pull it over his body. Jared is an extrovert, Joshua is an introvert. Even the kakak in his kindergarten says that about him - imagine how obvious this is. Joshua likes to eat the ice-cream in an ice-cream (as in he actually gobbles the ice-cream), Jared eats the biscuit that comes with ice-cream. Which works well cause that means I only have to buy ONE ice-cream for both - I dig out the ice-cream with a spoon and place it into a cup for Joshua and hand the biscuit to Jared. Simple. Joshua loves to hates lotion (doesn't help cause he's the one with the eczema problem) and Jared loves lotion everywhere! Joshua loves to chase people, Jared loves to be chased.

I can go on and on and on about how different my two boys are but it'll be tomorrow before I finish this article.

Jared is still breastfeeding, for your information and the kind of comments that I am getting from my relatives and family is not helping much. They're all asking me to wean him - like it's in my control? I really pity the guy whenever I refuse him. I am here but I refuse him --to him, put yourself into the shoes of a toddler at the age of 2, it's illogical. I mean, how can you be here and milk is available and yet you refuse me? You must hate me!! And gosh, that's the last thing I want Jared to think. He knows how to use tears to get things to go his way now. And big huge drops of tears would make a trail down his cheeks whenever I say 'no'. His eyes are like asking me, "Why not, mom? Why not? Don't you love me anymore?" and I go jelly.

If you know of an easy way to wean, please, I beg of you, inform me. I am clueless and am currently a slave to a 2-year-old child who thinks my body is his body. Whenever he feeds on my body supplies, I sing, "My body is your body. Your body is your body. I want my body to be my body, can you give my body back to mmmmeeeeee" And he smiles, like he understands or something.

* names changed to protect the identity of the children. Besides, the parents may not like the idea of me writing about their kids online.

:: Marsha ::