IMPORTANT NOTICE: If I find out that anyone have used pictures of my kids in their websites for legal, illegal, porn or professional, directly or indirectly for purposes that I have not agreed to, they will incurr the wrath of a very protective mother. Do not fiddle with the pictures, use them, copy them, manipulate them...they are the pictures of my kids. If you want to use them, please send me an email beforehand and obtain my consent first. Thanks

Time Out For Jared :: 3rd May 2004

It's the first time I have ever punished Jared using the time-out technique. I used it on Josh before but with very little success, therefore, I am not very fond of the idea now. But tonight, he misbehaved and I had to do something. I pointed to the fault and misdemeanor and then scolded him for a while and then sent him into a corner to think about what he did.

Granted, what he did was terrible. You see, I have this mobile whiteboard thing that I let the kids draw on. And knowing kids, when they get their hands on the marker pen, anything is a drawing board. If you're a parent, you'll swear by this too. From previous experience and evidence of guilt, Josh knows that drawing on anything other than paper and whiteboard is a no-no. For Jed and his newfound iron will and terrible two phase, his curiosity and CREATIVITY knows no boundaries. This is not the first time, of course. I have warned him about drawing on anything other than the whiteboard with the marker pen and yet we have fresh paint in varying colors on the wall. We have marker pen drawing of circles, snakes and who-knows-what-else on the sofa that we can't possibly get off. And my printer and table have suffered the same fate under the same artistic hand.

I have Josh and Jed both drawing nicely on the board while I answered some emails, you see. The moment my back was turned, Jed turned his attention from the already-full-of-scribbling board to my fax machine. It was white, conveniently placed right next to where he was sitting and he very smoothly applied his masterful revamp skills on my fax machine.

Not that it mattered cause the fax machine was a hand-me-down from my dad who graciously donated the fax machine to me when my GREAT AND EXPENSIVE one got struck by lightning. It was old and haggard and it didn't really matter but I was mad at him for not knowing the boundaries. For not listening and not heeding my previous warnings. For not remembering the times that I had reprimanded him and smacked his hand for his artistic wrongdoing.

So, I took him one side (Josh went into hiding under my big fat comforter the moment Jed started drawing on the machine cause he already knew I was going to be mad) and scolded Jared. Josh reminded me time and again, as I was scolding Jed, that it wasn't his fault and that mommy is unhappy with Jared, not Joshua.

Then I placed my younger son in a corner of the room. I left him there and went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth (it was time to sleep). He remained silent in the spot…which is an amazing thing cause he knew how to obey me about staying put. I finished my things in the bathroom andd the door. Now, the door to the bathroom is a mighty loud one, I have to say. Whoever is downstairs would probably hear me and shut my door…and it is because it is loud that Jed knew when I was coming out.

I came out and saw him hiding his face behind my jeans, hung behind the door. I almost burst into laughter. Josh was hiding under the blanket, Jed is hiding behind the leg of my jeans what am I - Atilla the Hun? At this point, of course I couldn't remain angry anymore, seeing the honest fear in the faces of my children. And all because of an old fax machine?

And boy oh boy, Josh is sure a chatterbox these days. He relates EVERYTHING to me and mostly, at this point in time, he relates to me the things that he sees on TV. He would think of something and suddenly spring it out on me - like, "The man come over and pick up the small boy". I stop in the middle of reading and say 'what? What man?". It always takes me a while to think about the things that he has been doing the whole day or been watching to figure out what it is that he is talking about.

Jed is sure naughty these days and next to the word 'no', his other favorite word is 'don't want'. Amazing, isn't it? Can't wait for his vocabulary to grow…as in how to say 'Mom, get out of my face!'. Thankfully, there's a long way more to go, I think.

I love to see the brothers love each other, and whenever Josh says 'Jared is my baby brother and he's my family', my heart melts like butter under the hot humid Malaysian sun. And I love it when he says things like, "I like my mommy very much. I love her coz she's happy". It's sort of like saying, "I hate it when you are grumpy" but hey, who cares?! Not me.

His all-time favorite show right now is "Hi 5", an Australian production which has these 5 youngsters in a teeny-bopper manner dance, sing and perform songs and teach life lessons….I have nothing against them and even surfed into their websites, wondering if they are ever coming around to Malaysia. But I think my husband may have a few objections to the shows - he once asked me, "What are you trying to do? Turn my sons into teeny-boppers?" But I happen to think that the things that they teach on the show is quite relevant to the life my kids live right now, like you can't drink water with your cup upside down….duh!

I have my father to thank for teaching us how to swim from a very young age. Granted that he was a sports enthusiast, he taught us quite a few sports from young…like badminton (which he was a coach for), bowling, and of course, swimming. And to tell you the truth, all of his three kids (including me) are all fishes. We never had the fear of water, can tumble and swim for ages. We love water but hate getting dark under the hot sun, of course. But my sons have no such cosmetic fears.

They love swimming too…just like me. And with the aid of some floats, they are completely fearless in the pool. While some parents I know would forbid their children from going into the big pool (as in adult sized pool), I just nonchalantly shrug my shoulders and say 'sure, go ahead' and both of them have learnt that there's absolutely nothing fearful about being in the water and swimming. It's all about controlling your own body. Water in the sea can be dangerous but they have to know that when they are in the pool, they are in total control.

And I am so glad I did it early. Watching them swim around with their floats make me so proud. Some other more fearful parents would ask me, "They're not scared?" and I just tell them, "Well, it's got to do with whether YOU are scared or not. If you are not, you are telling your children that there's nothing to be afraid of and they become braver and experiment with their movements under the water. If you show them you're afraid, they would read into the vibe and think that water is dangerous".

To a certain extent, yes, water can be dangerous but the message I want them to know is that - it's dangerous only if you don't know how to handle it.

:: Marsha ::