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Toddling Terror ::

Even as I am updating this entry, my younger son, Jared, all of 11-months-old is toddling downstairs. His first few steps were taken (in an upright position!!!) last night while I was upstairs writing stuff for my work. I am wondering if the payment I am going to receive for the work done is worth it now. I missed his VERY FIRST STEP!

My husband can call me crazy and my friends can say I have lost some screws but watching him do it for the first time is very important to me. VERY important! I wanted to see the fear, the uncertainty and concern on his face and offer him quiet reassurances and offer my aiding arms when he falls. If I see him falter, I am going to give him a loving smile and soft pat to urge him on. I wanted to be the cheerleader.

Jared is really showing his personality now. If I thought he was quieter and calmer before this .I was right.

Between my elder and my younger, Jared is less temperamental. This doesn't mean he is complacent and without anger.Oh yeah, if I don't feed him as soon as he's sleepy or hungry, he sure knows how to get my attention and light the sparks in my bloodstream.

Like his much-admired brother, Jared will not shift his attention and focus from Barney or Bob (as in Bob the Builder) when the program is on. This afternoon, after taking his lunch and while I was feeding Josh, Jared was left on the bouncer for a while to entertain himself….and he did. He was watching the TV keenly with unwavering focus. Should I be happy or sad that this is happening all over again…even after I have resolved not to call the TV my children's nanny?

He's still got a veracious appetite and eats anything that is edible….and NOT. Two days ago, I found him chewing happily on my mother-in-law's slippers while I was teaching Joshua how to write in his note book. And my Indonesian maid have learnt how to call him a greedy baby in Chinese, sigh.

Joshua, on the other hand, is less of a delight to look after right now. He is not easing off his "I-WANT-TO-BE-INDEPENDENT" stage and it drives me crazy sometimes.

Ever since he learnt the meaning of the word 'I want', he has been using it excessively. To a point that he says, "I want to don't want this or that". Sometimes, I wonder when he will ease off being such a bad tempered person and start learning how to be nice to everyone around him.

During Chinese New Year, he bit my auntie's head off when my auntie asked him, "So, Joshua. Do you like school?". He pointed a finger at my auntie and shouted, "Nnnnooooooo!!!". He might as well have called my Aunt a cow because I was aghast at his behavior and my auntie stood there dumbfounded for a full minute before saying, "Wow. He's an angry child, isn't he?".

Embarrassed and taken-aback, I took Joshua one side and explained to him that people don't shout at each other like that, not when someone just asked him a polite question. He resisted my lecture and purposely turned a deaf ear on me.

I am being punished for being so naughty as a child, that is what I believe right now. Whatever pain and grief I caused my mom, it's coming around to get me.

On the learning front, after starting school, I am delighted to announce that Josh is picking up language skills, drawing, pencil and crayon manipulation skills pretty quickly. He actually colors within the lines, reasonably well, not that it's important to me but it's an absolute delight to watch. He also likes to trace the outline of words and numbers too.…a prelude to writing.

Two days ago, I found myself hanging onto the last thread of patience and sanity with Josh. He was learning how to use the computer and the mouse. He bangs around with the keyboard quite perfectly (duh!) and has trouble using the mouse. At that moment, Jared was crying, needing to feed, so, I quickly taught Joshua how to use the mouse, point and click. The mouse I had was too big for his hands and he was shouting "mmmmooommmmeeeee?" every 10 seconds and I had to get up from my breastfeeding lying down position to go click the mouse for him.

For someone who used to teach little kids how to count, I am a terrible teacher to my own kids. Which goes to show that the old saying is that : Parents are the own kids' worst teachers.

:: Marsha ::