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We're Alive :: 10th November 2003

Can't believe it but it's true. There's no puncture in our lives despite the fact that kakak has been gone for two LLLLLOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG weeks! Imagine that! I always knew that kakak was not going to be around all the time…for the rest of my life, for the rest of my kids' lives. I knew that but the notion did not entirely sink its teeth into my thick skull until the night before she left.

Sure, we made the preparations, bought the tickets, renewed the visa and bought gifts for her relatives back home in Indonesia and all that. we did all that and yet I was living in denial. I refused to acknowledge the fact that I was going to be helpless for some time.

But it finally did.

She DID leave and I still am completely helpless at home. Everytime my kids messed up the house and room, there was no kakak to come running to us with cloth in hand, wiping up the mess while mommy sits around laughing about it. This time, when there's a mess, mommy spins around shouting obscenities along the lines of some stupid clumsy kids who can't hold a bowl of cereal straight. I also found it hard to tolerate a 2 year old kid who can't drink his MILO without intentionally pouring it over the table or the sofa.

I thought I was helpless…as in 'in trouble'. But I realize that I was without help, but I would still survive. And survive, we did.

Despite the fact that I lost a few customers because of my inefficiency during my maid's leave from work, things went relatively OKAY. OKAY as in I didn't kill anyone and no one was fatally injured and I didn't have to knock anyone over the head with a pot over a minor misdemeanor. Here are the problems I faced and the methods I employed to solve the problems:-

a. Timing
Oh boy, did I have a major problem with timing. When it comes to working at home, timing was everything. I was fighting with bigger giants who had hundreds of people to run the place smoothly without the presence of the boss. I didn't. So, my advantage has always been timing. When my maid wasn't here, this was a major problem. That's because on top of having to meet datelines, I also had to keep my kids entertained, bathe them, feed them, cook for them, clean their clothes, mop and sweep the floor, take the clothes out to dry and then bring them in to fold and then place them into the closet. I also had to ensure that they weren't up to no good by keeping a watch on them all the time. which was a tough job because I couldn't answer my cell phone all the time now, if the kids were screaming, I wouldn't answer cause it would be unprofessional.

Then, I had a problem. If I didn't answer the phone call, it would be unprofessional too. I had to choose the better of two evils. I chose NOT to answer the call immediately if the kids were screaming and return the call later.

The kids weren't sleeping and napping on time either which caused me more delay in handing over my work, as in usually, when they sleep, I sneak in a few hours of work done. On top of that, my CD player conked because Jed had to stick in about 6 CDs into the player and they were jammed into the place. Now, the CD player decided that 6 CDs were too much and retired early. So, the kids now watch CD on my work PC. When they watch a movie, I can't work. So, I clean the floor and wipe the tables while swearing profusely under my breath.

b. Sleep On both counts, I lack sleep and the kids lack sleep. The kids need me to get them to sleep by scratching their backs and also lulling them but I am fighting for time and can't bother with it.

They sleep really late at night (2am is considered early, imagine that!) so, I start work at 2am and sleep at 6am. I wake up at 12pm in the afternoon and struggle to find time to answer my emails and return some phone calls.

Therefore, you can imagine how much less sleep my kids are getting and me? I am just walking around like a zombie with its hair on fire!

How did I solve them? Well, I just shout and scream until they're both guilty and I feel guilty and we all go to sleep. I don't get any work done this way but by the time we're done shouting and crying, we're tired out and all of us get some decent sleep this way.

c. House work
I didn't have to do much housework before this and now that my maid is gone, me and my mother-in-law has to do a lot of work after everyone has gone home. EVERYONE meaning my in-laws and their kids. They converge at our place everyday, you see. So, there's a lot of clothes-cleaning and also sweeping and mopping to be done between 10.30pm to 12am.

Solution: I just switch on the CD on my PC for the kids and then go downstairs to quickly get all the things done before the movie finishes. Usually, by the time I am done downstairs, they are done with their CD too.

d. Food When my maid was here, she was the one who toiled over in the kitchen, creating and concocting food for the kids to eat. But now, it's back in my hands. When I had only Joshua, I didn't have a maid and I had to cook for one person, that's all. Now, both Joshua and Jared have different taste buds and I have to bear the responsibility of coming up with something that suits both. Tough job. Solution: I don't care whether they like to eat what I cook or not…they eat whatever's on the table. Before this, if they didn't like the food, I don't force them to eat and ask kakak to bring something else out. Now, forget it. you eat what's on the table.

e. Being patient
Boy, did I have a problem with being patient. The word 'patient' was blown right out the window the moment my maid left for her home in Indonesia. Feeding my children at mealtime was the worst cause I didn't realize my kids love placing each spoonful of food in their mouths for years before swallowing it. I didn't realize (as it was later explained by my husband) that chewed food tastes sweeter after being soaked in saliva for some time. My husband may find it logical but I find it impractical to feed my children for hours on end!

Solution: I give up! I feed for a maximum of 1 hour and leave it there after that. When they're hungry, they will ask. I refuse to resort to chasing after them with spoonful after spoonful of rice.

As you can see, no one died and in fact, I don't really need kakak for anything. I can do this. I am losing hair, but I am alive.

:: Marsha ::